Whod you bang
My liver just broke up with me...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
