exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
