Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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