And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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