I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
