i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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