she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
