yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
