It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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