what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
