You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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