wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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