bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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