It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
