i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
