I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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