Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
