the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
