from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
