On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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