I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
