I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize