Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
