oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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