I wannas sexs uuuuu
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
