His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
