around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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