Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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