I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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