i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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