Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
