you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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