I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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