David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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