So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
