sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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