Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
