I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
