ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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