I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
