Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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