i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
