big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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