Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
