Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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