At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
