like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
