Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
