Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
