My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
