I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
