well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
